I've recently decided to host my memberships here and wanted to take a moment to talk about the events and factors that lead to this rather difficult decision. I believe it's important to be transparent about things and while I have always made an effort to be, I've felt that in the past year, I been struggling to connect with the community and those closest to me. You all have been incredibly patient and kind to me so I want you to know what's happened and where things are going.
Just as a heads up, we're going to be getting into some heavier topics such as loss and depression. There's a LOT here...
When Twitter became X last year in April, I lost a vital tool I used to interact with the Furry and AB/DL communities on social media, Tweetdeck. It became exceedingly hard for me to keep in touch as I was no longer able to sort or filter my timelines. I tried to remedy this by using multiple accounts to follow specific interests but that proved stressful, so I moved to Mastodon.
While Mastodon seemed promising, it never really worked out for me as the majority of my following still remained on Twitter/X. To make matters more complicated, Bluesky had been announced and was steadily becoming the next place people were migrating to. I found myself split between three different platforms where I struggled to divide my attention or maintain any strong/meaningful connections. It was around this time that Fur Affinity decided to make changes to their ToS...
The amendments the Fur Affinity administration made and the situation surrounding them were poorly handled and served to alienate many AB/DL artists who's works could potentially fall under the new, vaguely-worded rules. This caused a number of Babyfurs and Diaperfurs to leave Fur Affinity for other sites such as Twitter/X, either from feeling unsafe posting their works on the site or being banned under the new rules. This was incredibly frustrating as I not only needed to set up an account on e621 since I felt my own work was at risk, but I had also been frustrated with the state of AI in regards to artwork. While I was fortunate these rules didn't impact the release of my comic, Possessed, things were less fortunate back home.
While my dad's health had been weighing on my heavily since his condition worsened heavily at the start of the year, I was caught off guard when the call I received informed me that my younger sister was hospitalized with diabetic ketoacidosis. Thankfully, she recovered and has been doing well ever since. Things quieted down after this as I tried to focus on my comic, but it became difficult with all that had happened. This is when I posted a journal saying I'd take a break from posting Possessed, less than a week from when my dad passed away.
The next few months felt unreal as I had returned home to mourn and attend my dad's funeral, then turn around almost week later to spend time with some of my closest friends on a photography trip. While the trip did so much to keep my spirits up, I didn't have much time to grieve and process things. By the time life fell back into a state of normal, I had lost touch with the majority of friends I'd see regularly. I felt deeply depressed and lonely but I tried my best to carry on regardless... until a Patreon supporter had informed me that I was one of the only AB/DL Patreon creators that hadn't been culled on their list...
Patreon had begun purging a large number of AB/DL creators without warning and considering Patreon was my primary means of income, I took action to try and save it. I went through every post, read every comment, and deleted my work. While this had prevented my account from getting purged, it felt like had I lost everything.
I struggle with anxiety disorders, agoraphobia being the most impairing. It makes it difficult to do basic things like getting hair cuts, socializing, or finding work. Not having a conventional job or income for over 8 years wasn't kind on my self esteem either. When I built up the courage to create my Patreon and found it successful, I can't express how much it meant to me. Having that taken away or threatened, was devastating.
Needing to find a platform that wouldn't discriminate against my work, I set up an account on SubscribeStar.Adult. While it seemed promising at first, I quickly grew to dislike the platform as a number of it's features felt underdeveloped or poorly designed. Scheduling and managing posts was unintuitive, there was no way to automatically withdraw your funds, you could only withdraw funds once every 14 days and to make matters worse, you could only withdraw funds if you had more than $150USD availble for withdrawal; a recent, unannounced increase from the original $50 limit. This unannounced change ended up being the final straw; something had to change.
That brings us to today and my decision to try and host my work predominantly on my own website instead of relying heavily on third party platforms. I simply cannot keep up with 3 different art galleries, 3 social media platforms, 3 different support services, a Discord community, and my website all while trying to focus on creating artwork and publishing my comic. The stress of trying to manage all of these different platforms has resulted in me burning out, especially when these platforms are actively hostile towards me and my communities. The less I have to rely on these other platforms, the more time and energy I can dedicate to my craft.
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